I have days (moments throughout the day, really) where my heart needs a checkup. When I’m feeling weary, burned out, frustrated and at my wit’s end. Can you relate, or am I alone here? You know, those kind of mornings when I’m about to take that first sip of coffee, but I end up spilling it all over myself, and it’s just downhill from there. I pour another cup of coffee, get ready to enjoy that first sip, and I hear my little one start talking through the baby monitor, or the dog is scratching at the door, or the phone starts ringing (or all of the above simultaneously). Before I know it, it’s nearly lunch time, my coffee is cold and my heart is just, well…yucky.
I struggle with getting my heart right sometimes. Sometimes, I let my frustrations and annoyances get the best of me. But you know what, my attitude reflects my heart all the time. So if my heart is yucky, my attitude is sure to follow.
Recently, I have heard sweet whispers of Psalm 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Psalm 51 is a prayer of repentance. When I read it, I feel the writer (David) pleading with God to wash him clean. In the first verses alone, we can so clearly see where David is and where he longs to be. He says in verses 1 and 2:
1. Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
2. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin.
I cannot just change my attitude (if you don’t believe me, ask my husband). I have to let go of my selfishness, and let God change me from within. When I start feeling anger creep in (that hot Italian temper), I have to give myself a 5 minute time out to pray. I desperately need those 5 minutes to take some deep breaths, and meditate on Psalm 51..
Have mercy on me.
Make me hear joy and gladness.
Create in me a clean heart.
I can feel when my crooked, tarnished heart is in need of a checkup when my attitude is crooked and tarnished. And if I want to be honest here, I need to do this daily. I need to start my day asking God to uphold me, and I have to end my day asking Him to forgive me.
A fun thing I do with my girls when anyone in the house is acting yucky is sing the Doc McStuffins theme song (which brings into attention our behaviors), then pray about what’s going on. My 5 year old will say, “I am the clay and You are the clay maker. Fix me, and forgive me, Lord.”
She shows me up all the time..
Does your heart need a checkup?